Slaying Dragons and Rescuing Princesses

One of the most common things I remember hearing growing up is that every girl wants to be a princess and every boy wants to be a hero, or some variation of that idea. I can't comment to much on what girls want, I rarely know what my wife or daughters want much less the whole gender, but I know I always wanted to be a hero.


All the books I read, movies I watched, and games I played were always about the epic storyline. Sure I read short books about cowboys and played first person shooters like Call of Duty (when I was older anyways) but I always go back to my favorites, the epic storylines. Series like the Wheel of Time where these nobodies from the most isolated backwater dump end up saviors of the world. Games like Final Fantasy 9 where a thief stumbles across a cause greater than himself and steps to the side to help a Princess rescue her mother, and then the world. And I wonder now if my attachment to these games has become, or always has been, unhealthy.


As I've grown older I've become more and more dissatisfied while becoming less and less of the worker I used to be. Some of this is due to options, after all while in highschool I had a very limited number of books to read and zero video games until the very end (my senior year I bought a PS1 and FF9). It was around this time I also started playing Retromud (no real epic story lines, but lots and lots of positive reinforcement when you did cool things and the entire game is extremely cooperative) and doing worse in school.


I've played retro and other video games on and off in the last 12 years since graduating highschool and I believe I may have come across the worst thing they have to offer: escapism. And I believe it is in fact worse than the escapism offered by books, especially when I was younger. In a book I can read about how cool Matrim Cauthon is and how he runs around saving the world, I can even daydream about it, but in the end he's not me. Also when I was younger there was a limited number of books I could read so I couldn't flit from one fantasy to another, eventually I was driven to create something of my own or return to the normal world and look for something there. At that point I can begin to try and emulate the heroes I read about and apply the lessons learned there to my life. With video games however there is variation to the story and with multiplayer games you have other real people telling you how awesome you are.


Now, I could study a language for months and learn to speak it, I could dedicate myself to my studies and receive good grades, I could even become perfect, or nearly so, at my job and all these things will earn me some praise, but likely not huge amounts since I am, to some extent, expected to do these things. In the real world people are expected to do moderate to good, otherwise there are clear and specific punishments. You could lose your job, your children could get taken away, you could lose your house, etc. There is always a very real threat that something unescapably bad will happen to you if you screw up enough, this causes people to treat others in a fashion fitting the setting: I'm not going to praise you for doing good, because you're probably only doing it to avoid the consequences and society can always replace you with someone who wants it more.


Lets contrast this to video games. Give me a month, tops for most games, and I can reach the maximum level in a multiplayer game or a level capable of participating in the high end of that game's content and, so long as I'm nice and friendly, I will be lauded with praise. People will talk about how impressive it is that I did it so fast, I can practice and be knowledgeable and they'll praise me for my skill at end game content. Why? Because we as gamers have learned that if people are not thanked for the good things they do then they will stop doing them, after all why continue spending your time/money/effort somewhere you're not thanked? The game community is directly punished if there are not enough moderate/good players around, so there is abounding praise for them. And while I know this and will sometimes consciously dish out praise for that exact reason...well, it still works when someone praises me back.


So what does this lead to? Well, I don't want to make time for the real world because people in it don't thank me for every little thing I do, not that I thank them, after all I expect them to do it. I'm not sure exactly what the point of this post is other than to talk about my realization and to flesh out some of my thoughts about whether I should just stop playing video games entirely. Yes I will certainly go through withdrawals and I don't think that is too harsh of a word. But in the end the fact that I feel a need to play video games leads me to believe it's not healthy. I mean, it seems that everything people can't give up without feeling withdrawal is a bad thing and can be counted as a drug.


Mirriam-Webster defines a drug as something and often an illegal substance that causes addiction, habituation, or a marked change in consciousness. Now video games, at least the ones I play, are not illegal, and you might argue they aren't a substance. But do they cause addiction? Habituation? A marked change in consciousness? Without a doubt.


I guess all this to say I think I need to stop playing video games, all of them. I have a marked desire to do something with my life and make an impact. Video games offer an easy solution where I can make someone else's life easier or more enjoyable, but mostly in a meaningless way. I'm not saying I will suddenly become an amazing husband/father/worker/student if I stop playing video games, but I am saying I think it's a step in the right direction.


As always feel free to comment if you think I'm going silly or have some sort of input for me.
~joe


*Edit: The quote I was thinking of was from John Eldredge's book Wild at Heart: "Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue." Had to call home to figure out I was remembering it wrong.